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By Marie Harrison

For the Clemmons Courier

I have always been a big believer in preventative care. I’m the one who schedules the yearly physicals for our family, even if there are no health changes, because I like to make sure that a doctor is checking over bloodwork and confirming that everything is in fact, A-OK. I’ve never thought much about going to these preventive screenings myself until two years ago when I got the results that made my heart skip a beat.

Even though my birthday cake says “39” every year, spoiler alert, I am slightly older than that number. Since screening mammograms are done based on the age recorded on your birth certificate and not the age written on your birthday cake, I’m one of the lucky ones who now gets to add this check-up to my list of “to-dos” each year.

Given that I have no family history of breast cancer or current concerns, I wasn’t nervous or anxious to go to this appointment. But during the screening, something happened. After taking one x-ray, I saw a funny look on the technician’s face. Pulling it together quickly, she asked me to hold my breath so we could take “just one more picture with a bit more clarity.”

Something seemed off. But I still had no real reason to be concerned. Maybe I had just moved when the first picture was taken? Maybe I hadn’t held my breath as instructed the first time? There was no reason for me to worry and so I tucked the thought in the back of my mind and continued on with my day. Later, though, as I sat in the car line, waiting to pick up my girls from school, I got the notification that my results were ready. Quickly logging in and scanning over the results, I can still remember reading the finding: abnormal mass. Something wasn’t right. In that moment, my heart stopped. I’m fairly certain I stopped breathing. My eyes became lasers, scanning the words on the screen and narrowing in on the rest of the results — further screening required, doctor will be in contact. This was not at all what I expected.

I pulled it together quickly. Not wanting to worry my girls about something that may turn out to be nothing, but I’m sure they could tell by the look on my face that something was wrong. Two agonizing weeks later, after lots of ill-advised Google searching and WebMD reading, I finally had my follow-up appointment. I couldn’t sleep the night before. I was gripped with fear and anxiety over the “what-ifs,” and I still had no reason to suspect that anything was wrong other than the results from a mammogram that indicated something “might” be amiss. After a more in-depth ultrasound, and lots more waiting, as I sat in the waiting room, my phone pinged once again with results. And just like before, but with even more intensity now, my heart stopped, my breath stilled, and my eyes fought to read as fast as they could. And there it was — normal, all clear, repeat regular screenings in a year. All of this fear, all of this anxiety, all of this time wasted worrying, and in the end, it was all clear. Just a shadow.

But here’s the thing about worry. Even though this was two years ago, even though I got good results, my breath still catches now every time I go to my yearly appointment. My heart still stops when I get the notification of results on my phone. Worry still runs deep. And I don’t know what it is for you that sparks this type of worry, maybe it’s a yearly screening like me, maybe it’s something to do with your children or parents or spouse, but whatever the cause, I’m willing to bet that each one of us carries our fair share of worries.

There’s a lot to worry about in this world. And if we’re not careful, it’s easy to let this worry overtake our hearts and minds. I can fully admit I am guilty of this. And yet, at the same time, I’m also desperately trying to overcome it. As I sat in the waiting room this week, waiting for my mammogram, heart racing, brain spiraling, worry out of control, I made a choice. I turned to something greater.

I pulled out my phone and opened my Bible app and tried to focus on the words of God. And you know what? The worry died down. Did it go away completely? No, but it is hard to focus on worrying when you’re focusing on God. And maybe that’s exactly what Jesus was trying to teach us in John 16:33. Jesus said, “I’ve told you these things so that in me you will have peace. In this world, you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world.”

While we are here on Earth, we will have worry. We will have things that make our hearts skip a beat. We will have things that keep us up at night. But we can choose to take heart. We can choose to put our trust fully in Jesus because He has overcome this world. With our eyes fixed on Jesus and the eternity he promises to all who trust in Him, we don’t have to let worry win. Trusting Jesus doesn’t mean worry won’t try to creep into our lives, but it does mean we don’t have to sit in it. We have a choice. And for me, I’m choosing Jesus over worry every chance I get!